I reluctantly opened my eyes, my body clock was set for a 7am wake up, despite the fact it was a Sunday. I groaned and stretched my arms, yet my right hand was stuck. I immediately turned my head to see what was holding me back and I was greeted with my husband’s sleeping face. The word husband didn’t roll off my tongue as nicely as I would like but that was only because it was unfamiliar and new. I rolled over to face him. He held my hand between the palms of his, so tightly it made me feel like he was afraid I would leave him in the middle of the night. What made this gesture even more adorable was peaceful face that complimented it.
He was gorgeous even the first thing in the morning, okay fine, well to me he was. I studied his face, his eyelashes were long, curled and clumped a little, and his cheeks were tinted pink. His stubble was thick and sturdy, and would always leave my skin tingling when he kissed me on my face. His lips were curled into a subtle smile, as if he had just heard a joke and smirked in response. So many years I had waited for days like this, to wake up next to the love of my life. It was nothing special a mere norm but my heart wanted to capture every moment afraid it would be taken away.
I reached over and began stroking his hair. My golden ring glistened in the light; it made me smile, on how such a small object held so much meaning. This band signified our marriage, the promises we made to each other, and it reminded me this was not a dream everyday. This man was such a pain in the ass, but here’s the thing he’s my pain in the ass. His childishness, constant neediness is what kept me grounded, he made me feel again, he kept me sane. He made me want to be happy. When I felt his love I was afraid, I wasn’t good enough for him that he could find better, that I needed fixing before someone could love me. Through his eyes I wasn’t broken, I was a whole but I just couldn’t see it.
He had seen me at my weakest, held me when I broke down and told me it would be okay. I remember looking up at him deep into his brown eyes questioning if things would be all right? Would he also leave me? Would my darkness be too much to handle? Despite it all he held on to me, held me tightly. Even if I let go, he held on for both of us. After years of holding doubts in my head, the moment he bent down on one knee, everything became clear…it was simply him. Now lying in our own bed tangled in each other, wearing mismatching pyjamas, watching him sleep with my hand enclosed in his…I know life will only get better. I bent down and planted a kiss on his forehead before reaching over and wrapping my free arm around his waist and resting my head on his chest. I shut my eyes and smiled as a typical Sunday had just begun.